Starvix's Three Babies and a Shadow
by Project Starvix
Summary: Eggman's new invention is supposed to be a death ray, but its maiden voyage proves it to be something else: A machine that turns adults into babies. The lucky test subjects: Sonic, Knuckles and Amy. While Tails figures out a way to change them back to normal, Shadow is pretty much blackmailed into helping out. Can Shadow survive to see the threesome turned back to normal?
1. Chapter 1

This is it. Nothing has been changed, except for spelling. Even the author's notes are Starvix's. Enjoy.

* * *

I do not own Sonic the Hedgehog series, characters, or likenesses thereof. Any similarities between this Sonic and the Sonic of Sega are purely coincidental. Also, when the toddler versions of the children speak, they are speaking 'toddler talk.' THIS IS NOT A SPELLING ERROR; I did this because part of any good caretaker's job is to try and comprehend what this child is saying. Also, I cannot get the warnings thing to work; so there is a little violence (Nothing graphic) and lots of temper tantrums.

Author's Chapter Notes:

Before we start I would like you all to know that I am a humor writer first and foremost; I have and always will strive to write clean humor that is fun to read. Judge for yourselves whether or not I have succeeded.

* * *

It started out like any other normal day. Eggman had another one of his bizarre doomsday weapons and was going to unleash it on the world. Of course, this doomsday weapon was powered by the Chaos Emeralds, which means Eggman smashed the Master Emerald (Again.) And this meant that Sonic and Knuckles were out to stop him.

The two were running after Eggman's flying contraption (I believe this one's called the Egg-a-pult) dodging bombs and getting in several lucky shots until the machine started to fall.

"You think you've beaten me?" Eggman laughed hysterically from a floating bubble way up above him. "Guess again, hedgehog! You've fallen right into my trap! Today you will meet your doom at the mighty Eggafier Ray!"

Sonic's eyes narrowed and he cocked his head, smirking. "Hey, Eggman, what's with naming all your trash after eggs? You aught to call it the junk ray, cuz that's what it'll be when I get done with it!"

"Shut your mouth and fight, Sonic," Knuckles snapped at him, jumping up and punching at the Eggafier Ray. However, the Ray was protected by some sort of force field, so the punch never landed. Knuckles recovered quickly and glided to the ground, his eyes never leaving the ray as it started to power up.

"Sonic, we need to find a way to take out that force field!" Knuckles yelled out over the hum of the laser.

"I'm on it!" Sonic yelled back, looking around for a weak spot. Just at the critical moment, however, he was tackled to the ground by a blur of pink and red.

"Sonic! I knew I'd find you, Sonic! I've come to hear you declare your undying love for me!" came the blur's hurried and love struck voice.

Up above the scene in his little plastic bubble thing, Eggman practically squealed in delight as his laser powered up and engulphed his nemesis in a deadly red glow. He really hadn't thought that it would actually work, but hey, who's complaining?

Still, deep in his twisted little heart, he would miss the thrill of trying to outmaneuver and outwit the cocky hedgehog. He had been a worthy adversary, and had died as he had lived, fighting Eggman, protecting his friends, and shrieking, "Amy! Are you INSANE!?"

As Eggman flew away from the newly made crater created courtesy of the Eggafier Ray (Which really has nothing to do with eggs, as you can see), his mind was already devising plans for an egg-related weapon to help him take over the world, and he never noticed a small, blue hand twitch slightly while emerald green eyes flickered open…

Miles "Tails" Prower was worried. Sonic, Knuckles, and Amy were all missing, no one had seen hide nor hair of them since early this morning, when they'd gone after Eggman. Normally Tails would think nothing of it; only there was a newscast on saying Eggman was attacking the city and the cobalt blue hedgehog and his friends were still nowhere to be found.

Frowning, and deeply distressed at this unusual state of events, Tails fired up the Tornado and raced to where they'd last been seen.

The two-tailed fox paled when he saw the crater that the Eggafier Ray had created. He landed the Tornado and was in the hole in an instant, screaming his friends' name in an unnatural state of hysterics.

"Sonic! Knuckles! Amy! SONIC WHERE ARE YOU!?" Tails screamed, tears flowing down his cheeks as he dug through all sorts of rubble.

"Hewe I am!" Chirped a little voice behind him that didn't sound at all like Sonic, Knuckles, or Amy.

Tails whirled around to face a small, two-year-old cobalt blue hedgehog with bright emerald eyes and a happy little grin on his face. It was, however, difficult to tell that he was blue at the moment, because he was completely covered in mud and was currently playing in the dirt. Next to him was a small pink hedgehog, happily making mud pies without a care in the world.

Tails stared at the two, barely comprehending at first what seemed to be impossible. These two little children couldn't possibly be… no, that wasn't possible. Was it?

"S-Sonic?" Tails whispered, a sickening feeling hitting the depths of his stomach.

The hedgehog grinned even wider and struck a pose that was, unmistakably, all Sonic the Hedgehog.

"Yes?" he asked.

"Sonic…what happened?" Tails asked, still trying to confirm what his eyes told him. "And where's…where's Knuckles?" Perhaps Knuckles would be able to explain why his two teenaged friends were two year olds.

Sonic cocked his head quisitively. "Oh, Uckles no no wikey makin' muddy muddy pies. He go sweepy ober dere."

Tails frowned, trying his best to decipher his friend's garbled speech, drew a blank, and finally just looked to where Sonic was pointing. Over on the other side of the crater was a two-year-old Knuckles, sound asleep and sucking his thumb. So much for Knuckles explaining what had happened here. Or Sonic either, although Tails was sure the blue blur would certainly try. That is, if he could remember what happened.

That thought triggered another, and he gasped, "Sonic, do…do you know who I am?"

Sonic scrunched his little face up and he rolled his eyes upward, his finger touching his chin in what he obviously considered to be a thoughtful matter. Finally his eyes lit up and he nodded fiercely. "You my budder!" Sonic cooed. "You my itty budder Tails, but now you gots getting big bigger!"

Tails had absolutely no idea what Sonic had said, but apparently the hedgehog did, in fact, remember who he was.

Amy had apparently realized that Sonic was no longer playing mud pies with her, and she stomped over to him.

"Soooonic!" She whined pitifully. "You pwomise, said you pway games witty me! Pway now, Sonic!" She reached over and grabbed his arm, yanking him towards the mud. "Pway wots an' wots, f'wever ever!"

Sonic ripped his arm out of Amy's hand, held it close, and started hopping up and down, his eyes wide. "No no touchy me! I gettin' Amy cooties! Icky yuck!" he yelled dramatically. Then he fell to the ground while his leg twitched.

In spite of himself Tails laughed. If there had been any doubt before it was gone now. This, though younger, was definitely Sonic and Amy.

Which brought a question: Now what?


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Chapter Notes:

As previously stated, I do not own Sonic the Hedgehog, likenesses, or anything. Infringement is unintentional, I assure you.

* * *

Tails was (trying) to give Sonic a bath while phoning for help at the same time. Both Knuckles and Amy had taken their baths with no problem; Sonic, infant or not, still hated water. He hated it with every fiber of his being.

So, while Tails kept him sitting in the ankle-deep water of the bath tub in his left hand, dialing Rouge the Bat with his right, and praying that the bat would know something about how to care for children, Sonic screamed and yelled and squalled so loudly that Tails was very glad to live in the Mystic Ruins. Had he lived anywhere else someone would have called the cops, afraid that he was murdering the little hedgehog.

He might as well have been, in Sonic's mind at least. The hedgehog couldn't believe his own "budder" would betray him like this. He didn't care one bit that he was dirty. He liked being dirty. He didn't like water, he didn't like baths; how dare Tails make him take one!

"OUT! OUT!" Sonic screeched so long and loud it sounded like a horrified howl.

His pleas fell on deaf ears; deaf to his pleas and certainly deaf to everything else now, Tails thought darkly. Rouge had better be home!

The phone rang once, twice, three times. Tails held his breath while, in one fluid motion, he took a cup of water, dumped it over Sonic's head, grabbed the shampoo, and lathered as much of the hedgehog's quills as he could while Sonic was still in a state of shock. The hedgehog took a breath, composed himself, and screamed to high Heaven.

"Pick up, Rouge," Tails murmured while pouring more water over Sonic's quills to rinse off the shampoo.

"NOOOOOO BATH!" Sonic squealed, then he settled down to a sort of whining chant. "NO bath! NO bath! NO bath! NONONONO NONONONONONONO…"

Rouge the Bat was getting prepped for another 'expedition' to Angel Island in order to 'liberate' the Master Emerald for her collection. It was her right; the Master Emerald was hers whether the Echidna thought so or not!

Just as she was heading out the door, her phone rang. She sighed and went back inside. Gliding past the stairs and into the kitchen where her phone was kept, she picked it up and heard the strangest sound she'd ever heard in her life.

"Hello?" she asked.

"Rouge?" asked a tired voice. In the background she heard another, younger sounding voice screaming, "NONONONONONO!" over and over and over…

"Tails, what on earth is going on over there?"

"Rouge, I can't really explain over the phone, but Eggman did something to Sonic, Amy, and Knuckles and—"

The "Nos" changed to: "I hate bathies! I hate watoo! I hate ebyting!"

"Excuse me a moment, will you?" Rogue heard him take a sharp intake of breath, then a muffled, "Will you shut up already? It won't kill you to take a bath!"

"Is killi me!"

"NO ONE has EVER died in TWO inches of water, but if you keep this up, I will GLADLY aid you in becoming the FIRST!"

"WAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"Alright, fine, here! You're out of the tub. Lemme get you a towel…"

There were a few muffled noises Rouge couldn't quite make out, then Tails got back on the phone, sounding as if he'd just lost World War III. Certainly, something must have happened to make the kitsune act so out of character. "Could you come over for a bit? I really need your help."

"Is dat?"

"Hang on again." Once again there was a slight pause, then she faintly heard, "Not now Sonic, I'm on the phone."

"IS DAT!?"

"I'm talking to Rouge the Bat."

"Wo Bat?"

"Uh, yeah, I think…"

"I talky! I talky Wo Bat! Pweeease?"

"…Fine. Here."

The little voice all but exploded into her ears. "HI WO BAT! I IS TALKY YOU!"

"Augh!" Rouge pulled the phone away from her ears and the loud voice that presently accompanied it.

"I WIKE YOU!" The voice shouted, then it was gone as quickly as it came, and a tired sounding Tails replaced it.

"Please Rouge? I'm in a bit of a jam here," he pleaded. "Long story short, Eggman turned Sonic, Knuckles, and Amy into toddlers and I need you to babysit so I can find a cure. PLEASE help me!"

A slightly deeper, yet still childlike voice started yelling in the background. "I is NO baby! I Garden!"

"I KNOW THAT, KNUCKLES!" Tails yelled at the voice. Then he coughed and muttered a brief apology that the bat could barely hear over the ringing in her ears.

Rouge sighed. "Tails, I'm leaving on a job," she said.

"Rouge!"

"Don't panic, Tails, I'll find you a babysitter."

"Oh, thank you, Rouge! Thank you thank you thank—AMY GET AWAY FROM THE POWER COUPLETS!" And he hung up.

Rouge sighed dramatically and thought about who she could get to baby sit. Cream and her mother had left on vacation, the Chaotix were unavailable (Something about some top secret mission.) and of course, she was out of the question.

That left…well, why not? After all, he did owe her a favor.

Rouge smiled and dialed the phone again.


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Chapter Notes:

I still do not own Sonic the Hedgehog or anything that you may recognize. I probably do not own many things you do not recognize. I did not mean to infringe on anyone else's right, and I am not gaining anything from putting this up. I also have no money, in case you were wondering. And the baby talk is not misspelled.

* * *

Bring! Bring!

Crimson red eyes opened sluggishly as their owner tried to remember where he was and what had happened to make him hurt so.

Oh yeah, I remember. I was fighting Black Doom and was too close to dodge that missile….

Shadow the Hedgehog sat up from the couch that he'd pretty much passed out on the night before and rubbed the back of his sore neck, trying to moisten his dried out muzzle at the same time. He looked around the small, beat up apartment he'd rented.

Bring! Bring!

It took him a second to realize that the phone was ringing, as he wasn't really up to snuff that morning, in a matter of speaking.

Now the only question was: Where had he put the phone?

A short search ended up finding it in the refrigerator. Shadow did not know, or want to know, how it had ended up there, but he bet his life the Faker had something to do with it. Faker always had something to do with the strange, weird happenings that had been his life ever since Eggman had released him from the cryogenic sleep in Prison Island.

He yawned and brought the phone to his ear. "Hello?" he asked sleepily.

"Shadow?"

A bad feeling filled Shadow's being; Rouge was almost bad as Faker when it came to filling his life with misery and woe.

"Shadow, remember that favor you owe me?"

"No."

"Now, now Shadow. Don't tell me the Ultimate Life Form has forgotten, has he?"

The quills on Shadow's back bristled. In truth, he did remember the day Rouge decided he owed her a favor; but he could have gotten out of the trap himself and he had always thought that it was very suspicious that she'd shown up right then and knew exactly how to get out of the trap.

"Well, Shadow," Rouge continued, not letting him answer. "It's time to return that favor. Meet me at Tails' workshop, alright? Ciao!"

"…Whatever," Shadow muttered, even though Rouge had already hung up on him. He sighed. He might as well get this over with. Shadow took his ruby red Chaos Emerald and placed his hand atop it.

"Chaos Control!" He said, and disappeared.

He reappeared in the Mystic Ruins, feeling greatly put out and very frustrated. He just hoped that whatever this 'favor' was, it would be over with quickly and that it would permanently get Rouge the Bat off of his back and out of his life.

Although Rouge's instructions were to meet her at Tails' workshop, Shadow didn't actually expect her to want him to go in; furthermore, he knew that he'd gotten there faster than she had, and if he stayed out here, he could catch her and force her to stop beating around the bush. So it was that he missed his one and only opportunity to escape the continuing nightmare his life was threatening to become, and he never even realized it.

Five minutes later, Rouge flew into view and landed near him, that infuriating smirk on her face. "Well, prompt as usual, aren't we, handsome?" she cooed.

Shadow glared at her. "What do you want?" he asked bluntly.

Rouge motioned for him to enter the workshop. "Come inside and you'll see," she said, almost teasingly.

Shadow sighed loudly and dramatically and followed the silver bat into Tails' workshop. Tails entered the foyer, grinning until he locked eyes with Shadow. The fox's grin melted into a look of bewilderment, then shock, then finally decided to rest with horror.

"No, Rouge," he said, quite adamantly.

"Now, now," the bat said, wagging her finger. "I know he's not much, but he's the best I could get on such short notice."

Shadow was growing quite tired of being left out of the loop. "What is it, Rouge?" he snapped, his eyes blazing.

Tails looked over at Rouge almost pleadingly, but she just smiled and gestured to Shadow. Tails let out a loud dramatic sigh that rivaled the one Shadow had used earlier and motioned for the ebony hedgehog to follow him into the area the vulpine currently had posing as a living room.

His eyes narrowing, the hedgehog followed the two-tailed fox into the room. His eyes widened again and his mouth dropped when he saw…

"What?" he spluttered, staring down at a small, cobalt blue hedgehog, who was looking back at him with equal interest. Next to the blue one was a small pink hedgehog, who was grabbing him by his tail and trying to pull him over to where a makeshift tea set was sitting across the room. Over in an opposite corner a small red echidna was sitting, glancing at the floor, for all intents and purposes completely unconcerned with the other two.

Tails gulped nervously and explained the events of the past few hours to Shadow.

"…And I need someone to watch them for a few days so I can find a way to change them back," Tails finished.

Shadow looked at Tails. He looked at Rouge. He looked at the kids.

"No." he said, and started out the door.

"Hold on there, Shads," Rouge said, standing between him and his freedom. She pointed at his furry chest and said very clearly, "Now, listen, you owe me, Shadow. And I'm cashing in the favor. You either help Tails take care of his little brats—I mean, children, or so help me, I will show everyone the pictures of you at the Christmas party!"

Shadow blinked slowly. "I didn't go to a Christmas party," he said finally, confusion heavily laden in his voice.

"Well, actually, they're pictures of Sonic, but the lighting is so bad you can't really tell the difference," Rouge said slyly.

Shadow flinched. Of all the horrible things that could happen to him, he really couldn't think of a fate worse than people seeing Sonic doing boneheaded things and thinking it was Shadow. Rouge had him cornered, and she knew it.

"Fine," Shadow agreed. "But you will burn those pictures."

"Consider them going up in smoke," Rouge said, giving him that awful smirk again. "You boys have fun now. Ciao!" With that, she flew out the door and vanished from sight.

Tails fidgeted nervously for a few awkward seconds, then muttered something about needing to get to work and disappeared down his stairs to his lab.

And Shadow was alone with three toddlers. He had three seconds of silence. Three. Seconds. Then Sonic was pulling on his leg. Shadow looked down at him coldly. "What?" he asked.

"I hungy," Sonic said with big, innocent eyes. "I wan sumtin' eat."

"Then eat," Shadow said, extremely annoyed.

"You gots do it," Sonic said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "You gots make me chiwy doggies."

"I don't want to make you chili dogs," Shadow told him.

"You gots ta, I starvy!" Sonic insisted.

Amy, his pink partner-in-annoyance, clapped her little paws and nodded. "I wants eatin' too!" she declared.

Even Knuckles nodded firmly and held his hand out, demanding sustenance.

Knowing he was outmanned and outgunned, Shadow sighed and decided discretion was the better part of valor. "Fine. I'll make you something to eat."

Not at all satisfied with the promise of food, Sonic grinned up at Shadow and demanded more. "Chiwi doggies!"

"Whatever," Shadow muttered, not at all eager to make chili dogs.

However, a trip to Tails' kitchen showed that the fox, obviously, did not have a strong desire to eat well. A can of tofu, a half-empty bottle of ketchup, and a green, wooly thing (that according to the label, used to be some sort of tuna salad) were the only remotely edible things in the whole area.

Which, while it might prove an acceptable feast to a two-tailed fox with an IQ of 400, was certainly not good enough for the picky little twits Shadow was stuck with. He knew that for a fact, because they'd all been more than happy to inform him of its inadequateness when he'd served them platefuls of Tofu Tuna Ketchup. Ungrateful little heathens.

This meant, that without a doubt, Shadow had to go to the grocery store.


	4. Chapter 4

The instant Shadow set foot in the store, Sonic and Amy disappeared into the thicket of the shelves.

Shadow decided not to panic; after all, it wasn't a big store, and if anyone tried to make off with them, they'd have both the little brats back in his arms by morning. It simply wasn't worth the effort to try to hunt them down.

At least Knuckles seems to be staying nearby, Shadow mused to himself. The Echidna pulled on Shadow's leg and pointed to something over in the vegetable aisle. Frowning, Shadow allowed himself to be led over to a large display of cantaloupes.

Visibly excited now, Knuckles grabbed a cantaloupe, hugged it to him, and smiled at Shadow, saying, "Gotta 'tect Massa Emered."

Shadow blinked slowly. "That's not the Master Emerald," he informed the Echidna.

Knuckles frowned. "Is!" he insisted.

"That is a cantaloupe," Shadow explained.

The red furred guardian shook his head. "Emered!" He insisted, hugging the cantaloupe to his body. "Mine!"

"Whatever. You keep the Master Cantaloupe," Shadow muttered as he looked around for food. He had a sneaking suspicion that the toddlers would be unhappy with eating cantaloupe, even if he could convince Knuckles to let them devour it, which was doubtful. The guardian took his duties very seriously. Even if he could no longer discern the difference between a powerful emerald and a cantaloupe.

Shadow found Amy in aisle three, the make-up department. She had found several tubes of lipstick and had somehow opened them. She looked like a freaky clown reject, and the clerk was less than happy with the state of the lipstick tubes. For some reason that Shadow could not comprehend, the clerk seemed to think that it was his fault that Amy had ruined the make-up department. This was beyond Shadow's comprehension; he certainly hadn't told Amy to go and play with the shop's lipstick!

Even though the ebony hedgehog was, quite obviously, innocent of all wrongdoing in this regard, the clerk still made him pay for all the lipstick tubes Amy had ruined.

Sonic was found soon after, at the meat aisle. Somehow, the cobalt blue hedgehog had ripped open a package of baloney and had pasted it all over the wall. He even managed to get a couple pieces onto the ceiling.

This meant that already Shadow was paying for a cantaloupe, twelve tubes of lipstick, and a package of baloney, and he still didn't have anything for the toddlers to eat.

He really didn't have to worry about Amy wasting away, he reflected. She'd eaten six of those twelve sticks of lipstick; so she should be good for a while longer.

Shadow wondered if he should simply divide the remaining six sticks of lipstick to the boys and be done with it, but decided that might not be for the best. Sonic and Knuckles weren't the type to eat lipstick. Maybe he should pick up a block of Styrofoam…

Shadow finally found a pack of hotdogs, buns, and a can of processed chili, and decided to get out of the store while the getting was good.

Later, he would have to remember to kill the evil coward who came up with the idea to put candy in the checkout lanes.

Finally, however, Shadow started to put his items on the revolving checkout counter. He put on the lipstick tubes, the baloney package, the chili dog materials, two nutty buddy bars and a bag of M-D-M's, and then he picked up Knuckles and put him on the checkout counter as well, as he couldn't get the Echidna to let go of his Master Cantaloupe.

The checkout lady looked at Shadow disapprovingly and cleared her throat. "Sir, would you please remove your child from the checkout lane?" she asked haughtily.

Shadow really, really regretted leaving his six shooter at home. But it wasn't to be helped now, and he quickly yanked the cantaloupe out of Knuckles hands and put the guardian on the floor.

Knuckles shrieked in anger and started punching Shadow's leg.

"Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine!" the Echidna yelled over and over.

Shadow felt his left eyelid start to twitch.

"Mis'er Adow, I gotta go potty," Amy said sweetly, her hands positioned so she could 'hold it in', so to speak.

"Sadoe, I wants yummy yum cookie!" Sonic demanded loudly.

"Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine!" Knuckles screamed, still pounding Shadow's leg.

The lady couldn't seem to find a price tag for the Master Cantaloupe. She kept looking for it…and looking…and looking…

Shadow snapped. He reached into his pocket, took out a hundred dollar bill, threw it on the table, and snapped, "Here! There is no way I owe you more than that! Just keep the bloody change and give me my stuff!"

The clerk gave him a look that could clearly be identified as meaning, 'What is your problem?' and handed him the precious cantaloupe, which Knuckles eagerly accepted as a peace offering.

After he hit Shadow one more time as a warning, of course.

As soon as Knuckles was calm, Shadow rushed Amy over to the bathroom and luckily, she was able to go in and do her business without adult supervision, an ability which relieved Shadow to no end.

Sonic was a little trickier. He was livid that there would be no cookies (Shadow was not going through that checkout lane ever again), but Shadow finally bribed him into silence by promising a trip to an ice cream vendor on the way home, where Sonic would most definitely be getting chili dogs.


	5. Chapter 5

Author's Chapter Notes:

I still do not own Sonic the Hedgehog or any other characters you may recognize.

* * *

Shadow had never realized how many dangerous objects were lying around his house.

Not obvious things, like knives and guns. Even Shadow, painfully ill equipped to care for children as he was, knew that knives and guns were not to be handled by two year olds. He'd rushed through his house at his supersonic (Geez, he hated that word) speed and had banished those items to the depths of his closet, which was locked and the key had been placed in an area where the children could not possibly reach.

No, his house was full of dangerous things. Deadly things. Little things. Hey, how was he supposed to know that the spare change in his couch cushion would somehow end up in Sonic's mouth? Or that he'd try to swallow it? Or that swallowing pennies was not conductive to a toddler's well being?

And heck, the aspirin bottle said it had a child proof cap! He was definitely going to have a few words with the manufacturer once he made sure Amy hadn't swallowed any and after his chat with the guy in the hospital's ER counter.

And call him crazy, but if a baby Echidna can figure out how to unlatch a safety pin and stick it inside his arm so far it drew blood, somehow Shadow had a hard time believing in the pin's, well, safety. Who's warped idea was it to call them that?

One good thing: He was 95% sure that Sonic shoving Q-tips up his nose was not permanently damaging. However, Shadow was going to seriously punish him somehow. Not for the Q-tips, but for the graffiti Sonic had written on Shadow's bathroom walls using Shadow's toothpaste.

He was beginning to wish he hadn't thrown that aspirin bottle away when he found Amy playing with it, because he could really use a couple right about now.

He finally managed to get most, if not all, potentially hazardous objects locked in that little closet with the guns and knives (A closet he was beginning to have trouble closing). At last, he sank into his comfortable couch and closed his eyes, his exhaustion causing him to start dozing almost immediately…

…For about two minutes. Then:

"WAAAAAAAAA! You et da Massa Emered! WAAAAAAAA!"

"OWIES! No hitties me, Uckles! Weave me awone!"

Shadow was on his feet in an instant, panicking slightly as he raced to where a screaming, sobbing, disconsolate Knuckles sat, using his little fists to pound on an equally upset Sonic.

"What in chaos are you two doing?" Shadow snapped as he pulled the two apart.

Knuckles looked up at Shadow, tears streaming down his face as he pointed an accusatory finger at Sonic. "He ET da Massa Emered, Attow," he said. He wiggled out of Shadow's grasp, grabbed his Master Cantaloupe, and handed it up to the ebony hedgehog to verify his claims. "See?"

Shadow inspected the spherical object and sure enough, there was now a Sonic shaped bite mark in the cantaloupe.

"Sonic?"

Sonic's Toddler Sense told him that he was in deep trouble. The hedgehog looked up at Shadow with an innocent 'Who, me?' expression on his face.

"Is it, Sadoe?" he asked, the picture of youthful purity,

Shadow wasn't buying it. "Did you do this?" he asked, showing Sonic the cantaloupe.

Sonic hung his head. "Yes," he said guiltily.

"Why did you eat Knuckles' cantaloupe?" Shadow asked.

"Emered," Knuckles muttered behind him, his arms crossed in a why reminiscent of the adult Knuckles. Shadow noted with some irony that the movement, which was intimidating when Knuckles was a full grown Echidna, now just made him look cute and cuddly.

Forcing his thoughts back to the matter at hand, Shadow asked, "Why?"

"Dunno," was the answer, as the child kicked the ground with his foot, his eyes firmly downcast.

"You don't know?" Shadow asked incredulously. How on earth could anybody do something and not know why they did it?

Then again, he remembered, this is Sonic he was talking about. Thinking things through had never been a strong point for his blue furred rival. Which, while it was frustrating for just about everyone, had some advantages, one of them being the fact that Sonic didn't get nearly as many headaches as Shadow did.

A headache like the one he was nursing now.

"Go stand in the corner," Shadow ordered, pointedly ignoring the hurt look Sonic gave him. "And stay there until I say you can come out."

Lower lip trembling, the cobalt blue hedgehog sulked off to his punishment, leaving Shadow alone with a still somewhat hysterical Echidna on his hands.

"Is da Massa Emered go die?" Knuckles asked him, looking like he was going to start bawling again.

Shadow did not even try to point out the flaws in Knuckles' childish logic, he'd spent far too much time with the Echidna and knew logic would get him nowhere.

"I can fix it," he told Knuckles, feeling extremely foolish.

"Wealey?" Knuckles asked, an obvious glimmer of hope shining in his eyes.

Shadow just sighed and walked around the apartment, pulling down the blinds on all his windows to ensure no passersby could be able to look in and see him giving first aid to a cantaloupe.

After this was done he took Knuckles and the Master Cantaloupe to his kitchen table, took out his first aid kit, and—feeling more foolish by the second—he took some bandages and wrapped it around the cantaloupe, covering the bite mark. Then he handed it back to the two year old.

Knuckles was thrilled. "You did fix da Massa Emered, Attow! Tank you!" he hugged his cantaloupe to him and rushed off, presumably to find a safe, Sonic-free place to hide the darned thing.

Shadow leaned back, closed his eyes, and decided then and there that he despised kids.

"Mis'er Adow?" a sweet little voice called from behind him.

Shadow couldn't take much more of this. He opened his eyes and glared at Amy Rose, who was smiling up at him with her hands behind her back.

"What do you want?" he said peevishly, wanting her and the other two Mini Banes of his Existence to drop off the face of the universe and leave him alone.

Amy showed him her hands, and he saw with a sinking feeling in his stomach that she held nearly half a dozen of his landlady's favorite, prize winning violets.

"I give you," Amy said, literally beaming.

Shadow numbly accepted the flowers. "Amy, why did you pick these?" he asked.

"I membered," Amy said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"You picked the flowers because you remembered something?" Shadow asked.

Amy nodded. "I membered, when I no happy, my Mommy give me fwowers. Dat make me happy."

Shadow blinked, not quite understanding yet. "So?" he asked.

Amy frowned, wondering why he didn't seem to get it. "So, I give you fwowers, cuz you no happy. I give you, make you happy!"

A figurative light bulb went off in Shadow's mind. "You gave me flowers to make me happy?"

Amy's smile was back, and she nodded furiously. "I give you! Give you, be happy!"

In spite of himself Shadow smiled. Amy Rose, no matter what her age, could always find ways to make him remember Maria. She could make him remember when he was happy.

"Go on and play, Amy," he whispered, fingering the violets long after she'd run off.

Amy had succeeded in what she had set out to do. For the briefest of moments, she had made him happy.


	6. Chapter 6

Author's Chapter Notes:

I still do not own Sonic characters. However, any original characters in this chapter are, in fact, mine.

* * *

Shadow found a vase for Amy's flowers and came up with a good cover should his landlady ask him about the state of her garden. As he was filling the vase with water, he realized that his apartment was quiet. That, he felt, could not be a good sign.

Shadow quickly checked around his apartment. He found Knuckles in the laundry room, his Master Cantaloupe sitting atop a pile of dirty laundry and the Echidna himself sitting in front of it, looking out for any signs of evil doers. Knuckles was fine. Check.

Further search found Amy, snuggled up on Shadow's couch, sucking her thumb, struggling not to fall asleep. It was a battle that she was swiftly losing, but she was in no danger. Check.

And Sonic was…not in the corner where Shadow had sentenced him. He was not in the bathroom, not in the living room, not in the kitchen, and not in Shadow's bedroom.

Sonic was not in Shadow's apartment.

Feeling something akin to panic, Shadow checked again, looking in odd places that a two year old hedgehog's body could fit, such as the dryer and dishwasher. Perhaps Sonic was playing hide-and-go-seek?

No, that search turned up empty as well. But Shadow did notice that the back door was slightly open. His breath caught as he realized that Sonic must have gone out the back door while he was occupied with Knuckles and Amy.

But how was he supposed to go look for him? He couldn't very well leave Knuckles and Amy unattended. On the other hand, he couldn't leave Sonic out who knows where getting into all kinds of horrible trouble.

Frightening images emerged unbidden to Shadow's mind; he knew first hand that Earth was a cruel planet. Who knew what could happen to an innocent two year old, lost out there with people who thought nothing of shooting innocents to get their way…

Pushing the thoughts back into the dark recesses of his mind, Shadow forced himself to focus on the task at hand: find Sonic and ground him for the rest of eternity, even after Tails figures out a way to change him back to his original form.

First though, he would have to find someone trustworthy to watch the other two children currently in his care.

Fate seemed to step in at that very moment, for at that moment Shadow's landlady appeared at his door, trying to pound it in as she demanded to know what happened to her violets.

Shadow was on the elderly vixen in a second, escorting her in and locking the door. He wasn't sure if she would want to watch toddlers and he had no incriminating Christmas photos, so he'd locked the door as a precaution.

The poor old lady spluttered with surprise as Shadow set her down on the couch next to the already snoring Amy and explained briefly that he needed to go out and leave her here to take care of the kids.

On the way out the door, he gave her some advice, "Don't worry about Amy—she doesn't get into much trouble. But for Pete's sake don't touch Knuckles' cantaloupe!"

Then he was out the door and down the street before the bewildered lady had realized what had happened.

Once he'd made it safely away from his apartment, Shadow slowed down and started to think. If he was a hyperactive two year old Faker, where would he go if he snuck out of the house?

This reasoning really didn't do much for him; Shadow had no idea what kind of places Sonic might like to go; and he couldn't think back to places he himself would have gone because heck, when he was two, his house had been in outer space. Sneaking out really hadn't ever crossed his mind.

So Shadow figured he didn't know where Sonic would like to go, he'd have to look for Sonic would by going to every place he'd ever seen him. But even with his speed or a chaos emerald, that could take hours, and if Sonic got into trouble…

Maybe he was going at this the wrong way. After all, Sonic wasn't just the Faker who frustrated Shadow to no end anymore. No, now he was also a very small child. Wouldn't a small child like to go places that other children liked to go?

Like the park!

Hoping his guess was correct and that Sonic had indeed headed for the playground at Central City's park, Shadow zoomed off to look.

He arrived at the playground a split second later, scanning the area for any sign of cobalt blue fur. He spotted a baby blue hedgehog over by the swings and sighed with relief, allowing himself to relax. Sonic was talking to two older boys who were smirking at them in a way that Shadow wasn't entirely sure he liked.

Curious as to what was happening, Shadow quietly walked over to the threesome and realized as he did so that Sonic's eyes were full of unshed tears and his whole body was trembling. Shadow arrived in time to hear the last snippet of whatever it was Sonic was saying.

"You wier!" the toddler sniffled, wiping his arm across his nose. "He is to weal!"

One of the boys laughed and pushed Sonic so he'd fall over. "Is not, lamebrain," he teased. "Only a loser believes in a stupid fairy tale like that."

Sonic cried out as he fell and burst into tears.

"Aw, is the baby gonna cry?" teased the other boy. The both laughed at the cobalt blue hedgehog's distress.

Shadow shook his head. It never ceased to amaze him how eager the people of this planet were when it came to hurting others. In one fluid motion, Shadow was next to the two boys, grabbing them by their ears and twisting so hard they both yelped and fell to their knees.

"Ow! Let go!" yelled bully number 1#, fruitlessly trying to yank Shadow's hand away from his ear.

"Yeah, that hurts!" agreed the other one.

"That's the idea," Shadow said dryly. "Now that I have your attention, I want you both to listen very carefully." He paused for a second and twisted harder, causing them both to yelp harder. "Are you listening?" he questioned.

"Yeah, mister, we're listening! We're listening! There's no reason to pull my ear off!" said the first boy.

"What, you mean like this?" Shadow twisted again, smirking at the yelps. "Now, I'm going to let go, and you two are going to go crawl under whatever rock you came out of, and if I ever find out you decided to torment this child ever again, I guarantee you I'll hunt you both down and rip your ears right off of your head. Understood?"

He felt a grim satisfaction as he watched them scamper off like scared little roaches. He briefly wondered if he'd done any permanent damage to their twisted little heads, then dismissed the idea. He'd heard that kids were amazingly resilient in that regard, and even if they weren't, he honestly didn't really care all that much.

He turned back to Sonic, wondering if he should scold him now or when they got home, when he was tackled by a small, fuzzy, blue hedgehog who had amazingly cheered up as if he'd never been upset in the first place.

"Sadoe, you is mazing!" Sonic cheered, bubbling over with happiness. "You is supper hewo!"

It took Shadow a few seconds to realize what Sonic had said, and when he did, his jaw dropped in surprise. Of all the things people had thought of him, 'Super Hero' usually wasn't on the list.

Sonic continued, completely oblivious to Shadow's distress. "Dose meanies catchy me, dey all mean and bad, but you come save me! When I get big, bigger, I gonna be's wike Sadoe!"

Shadow moaned inwardly and closed his eyes. Sonic looking up to him as a role model, that really was the last thing this planet needed. The image it brought was…dully disturbing.

"Sonic."

The hedgehog looked up at the face of his new hero expectantly. "Yes?"

"What are you doing here?"

"I goie pway on swide," Sonic explained, his arms wrapping around Shadow's waist.

"Didn't I tell you to stand in the corner?" Shadow asked, his eyes narrowing.

"Um…" Sonic averted his gaze and shuffled his foot. "I don't member," he finally replied.

Shadow's eyes widened in surprise. "You don't remember?" he asked incredulously. "How can you not remember something that just happened twenty minutes ago?"

Sonic shrugged. "I dunno."

Shadow stared at the baby hedgehog for a while, then sighed. "Don't run off again, understand?"

Sonic nodded eagerly, raising his arms to signify that he was unwilling to walk.

Sighing loudly, Shadow picked Sonic up and headed back to his apartment.

"Sadoe?" Sonic asked after a lengthy silence.

"What is it Sonic?" Shadow asked shortly. Sonic had severely tried his patience, Shadow was barely able to control his temper as it was.

Sonic paused, trying to collect his thoughts, and finally asked, "Is Santa Cwaus weal?"

Shadow figured he should be used to childish questions and statements by now, but he was still taken by surprise. "What?"

"Santa Cwaus. Meanie boys say, he no weal. Is Santa Cwaus weal?"

"Of course not!" Shadow replied crossly. He'd had a long day, and supporting childish fantasies was not part of his job resume.

Sonic looked at him, wide green eyes filling with tears. He sniffed pitifully.

Shadow sighed, disliking the feeling of guilt he had at making Sonic even more upset. "Look," he said. "It doesn't matter that Santa Claus isn't real."

Sonic looked stunned. "Weally?" he asked. "Bu' wha' bout pwesents?"

"Exactly!" Shadow said, jumping on a point. "Santa isn't real, but you still get presents at Christmas, don't you? Know what that means?"

Sonic shook his head.

"It means that someone else put the presents there, you still get them, and that Santa Claus is just a faker. He doesn't bring you the presents, anyway. Understand?"

Sonic nodded. "Sadoe, if Santa Cwaus is a faker, who bwings pwesents?"

"Uh…" Shadow wracked his brain. "Super Heroes." He finally blurted out. Oh, great. That had to be the dumbest thing ever invented.

But luckily for him, Sonic bought it. The hedgehog nodded, as if it was so simple now that Shadow had explained it, then yawned. He laid his head down on Shadow's shoulder and fell sound asleep instantly. Shadow looked down at the sleeping form and sighed again.

"Super Heroes," he muttered disdainfully, shaking his head as he headed back towards his house. "I can't believe I said that."


	7. Chapter 7

Author's Chapter Notes:

As previously stated, I do not own the rights to Sonic the Hedgehog or anything Sonic related. That is owned by SEGA and I do not own that, either.

* * *

By the time Shadow made it back to his apartment, it was getting dark. He went inside, laid the still snoozing Sonic on the couch with the sleeping Amy, and quietly, if not gently, escorted his landlady out of his apartment.

Then he went right back to his kitchen and started another look for the phone.

Although he had been mildly pleased with Amy when he had left, all such thoughts flew out the window when he saw that apparently, she had woken up while he was out and had found the phone. It was nestled in her right paw while she was sleeping, giving out a busy signal.

Shadow was not looking forward to his phone bill this month.

Nevertheless, he took the phone from the sleeping hedgehog and dialed Tails' number.

"Hello?" came Tails' voice from the other end of the line.

"Tails, tell me you have a cure."

"S-Shadow?" Shadow distinctively heard Tails gulp. That didn't do anything to make him feel better.

"Tails," Shadow growled warningly.

"Uh, well, there was a uh, there was a slight problem…"

"What kind of problem?"

"Err, um…"

Tails' Flashback

"Ok, now I mix two these two chemicals together, and then the formula will be ready for the final stage of testing." Tails monologued to himself the way many scientists in books or TV shows have a habit of doing.

Combining the two ingredients, the small kitsune rubbed his hands together. "With a little luck, I'll have Sonic, Knuckles, and Amy back to normal before dinner time!"

Suddenly, a little frog hopped across the table, knocking over Tails' formula and spilling it all over the floor.

"What the scallop is—"

We will never know just what it was Tails intended to say, for at that moment, a giant purple cat burst into the room, screaming "FROGGGGGGGYYYY!" and knocking over yet more of Tail's formulas and inventions, mixing everything together in such a way that the two-tailed fox would probably never get it completely sorted out.

Tails instantly recognized his intruder. "Big!" he yelled as the cat continued to destroy his beloved lab, trying to grab his wayward frog. "What do you think you're doing!?"

Finally, Big the Cat grabbed Froggy around his middle and yelled, "There you are, Froggy! You shouldn't run off like that. It isn't nice."

Then Big carted his frog friend out of Tails' workshop, leaving the poor genius to survey the damage on his own.

The kitsune sighed. "Or, maybe it might take a few extra days…"

End Tails' Flashback

"Well, it's not important," Tails finally stated. "The important thing is that I uh…I need some more time…"

"How much time?" Shadow asked, his eyes narrowing.

"Um…well…" he gulped and blurted out, "Two or three days!"

"Days?" Shadow gasped. "Are you insane? I can't take care of these three for days!"

"I'm sorry, I'm trying!" Tails cried, hanging up on Shadow.

Shadow numbly listened to the beeping noise on his phone for a long second, then he turned the phone off and put it inside the cookie jar in a daze.

He remained in that daze for the rest of the night, even when he went to bed and fell asleep.

Shadow awoke to a strange noise, his body instantly alert and tensed to attack.

"Attow?"

Shadow forced his body to relax as he recognized the little child looking at him, wide-eyed, his Master Cantaloupe being tightly hugged in his little red arms.

"What is it, Knuckles?"

"Um…is darky," Knuckles explained, hugging his cantaloupe tighter and looking uncertain of himself.

"Yes, it is usually is dark at night," Shadow explained, wanting to go back to sleep.

Knuckles shifted his weight nervously. "Um…da Massa Emered no wike darky," he said, his eyes looking down at the ground, his foot shuffling around.

"What do I care what the Master Cantaloupe likes?" Shadow asked, yawning.

"Emered!" Knuckles snapped, stomping his little foot. Then he regained his composure. "Da Massa Emered mebbe getted stealies in darky. Massa Emered stay hewe night-night?"

"Why do you think I would want to sleep with a piece of fruit?" Shadow asked, glaring. "Protecting the stupid cantaloupe is your job, not mine."

Knuckles didn't even bother to correct Shadow this time. Instead, his eyes teared up, and he sniffled. "But…pwease wet Massa Emered stay," he whimpered. "And…I stay too?"

At that, he looked up and his eyes caught Shadow's. He gave him the smallest, most pathetic smile a baby Echidna could muster and asked, "Pwease, Attow?"

Not even Shadow was cold enough to look that small face in the eyes and tell him 'no.' Instead, he sighed loudly and motioned for Knuckles to hop on the bed.

The Echidna squealed with delight and clapped his paws together, scrambling to get atop Shadow's bed. Once there, he gently laid the Master Cantaloupe on the edge of Shadow's pillow and tucked it in.

"Night-night, Massa Emered. Night-night, Attow," Knuckles said, rubbing his eyes and yawning tiredly. "Attow, I go sweepies now."

"Good." Shadow muttered, looking over to where Knuckles had lain. The echidna was already asleep, one arm draped protectively over the Master Cantaloupe a small, pleased smile on his muzzle.

Shadow sighed again and tucked the blanket around Knuckles' body. Then he lay back down and closed his own eyes.

In their own way, each of the children were slowly inching their way into his heart. Even so, he didn't think he could stand having to spend two or three more days with them.


	8. Chapter 8

Author's Chapter Notes:

I still do not own anything Sonic related.

* * *

Breakfast. The most important meal of the day. Shadow was amazed at how three toddlers could so easily ruin such a simple meal.

He had awoken early and had set about to making that precious meal. Each child, when they awoke, found they had a plate with two sausages, a small portion of scrambled eggs, and a piece of toast with jelly.

When everyone was up, seated, and ready to eat, Shadow realized that yesterday had been paradise compared to this moment.

Amy took one look at her sausage and eggs and started screaming. "Ew! Is touchy! I no eat dis!"

"What is your problem?" Shadow asked her, staring at her plate. "It's just food."

"Touchy!" Amy screamed, pointing at her plate. Shadow looked closer and sure enough, the sausage and eggs were in fact, touching each other.

"That's it?" Shadow asked incredulously. "You won't eat it just because the two different foods are touching each other?"

"Yucky!" Amy said, scrunching up her little face in disgust.

"Yesterday you ate six tubes of lipstick and one of the chili dogs that Sonic had thrown chili-side down on the floor, and today you won't eat your food because it's touching each other?!" Shadow half snarled/half yelled at her, feeling his blood pressure rising.

"IS YUCKY!" Amy insisted.

"You know what, I've had it up to here with you, you little—" A small red movement flashed past the corner of his eye. Turning to investigate, he saw Knuckles stomping on his toast, which had been tossed jelly-side down in the middle of Shadow's living room carpet.

"Knuckles!" Shadow yelled. "You get your butt in here and eat your breakfast!"

"Butt!" Sonic said, giggling. "Sadoe say butt! Butt, butt, butt, butt, butt…"

"You shove some food into that muzzle of yours and quit talking," Shadow warned him.

"Butt!"

"I'm warning you, you little twit, you'd better stop saying that or I swear I'll—"

Knuckles picked up his toast and bit into it.

"Knuckles, put that down! Don't eat that, it's dirty now!" Shadow called, racing over to yank the filthy piece of toast out of Knuckles' hands. Predictably, Knuckles punched him in the leg.

"IS YUCKY! I WAN' SUMTIN ELSE!" Amy screamed from the kitchen.

Rubbing his sore leg, Shadow looked up to her and snarled, "You're not getting anything else. If you don't want it you can starve to death for all I care. It'd make my life a whole lot easier not having to deal with you."

"WAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"You know what, I've half a mind to just chaos blast you three off the face of the earth and be done with it! It's not like anybody would miss you little brats anyway!"

All of Shadow's self control was gone. Amy was still screaming, Knuckles was running around the house with his egg on top of his head and his sausage shoved up his ears, and Sonic, blast his ornery hide, wouldn't stop saying the word 'butt.'

Luckily for him and perhaps even more luckily for the three children in his care, someone knocked on the door of Shadow's apartment before he decided to put any of his darker ideas into action.

Shadow stormed over to the door, and opened it, blinking slowly as he saw Amy's little rabbit friend…uh…that girl. And her chao.

"Hello, Mr. Shadow," the rabbit girl said politely.

"Humph," was Shadow's answer, his eyes narrowing as he crossed his arms.

"Remember me, Mr. Shadow?" asked the girl. "It's me, Cream. I'm Amy's friend. And this is my Chao friend, Cheese."

At least now he knew who she was, although why she thought he would care about such information was beyond him.

"What do you want?"

"Well, my mom and me got back from our trip today and Mr. Tails told me what happened to Amy, and said that she was staying here tonight. And I thought I would help. I know a lot about taking care of little kids. Miss Amy would let me come with her when she babysat."

Shadow blinked slowly. Then he stepped out of the way and let her pass.

Twenty minutes later, pride was the only thing that kept Shadow from bowing down and kissing Cream's feet. The girl was an Angel, a real life miracle sent down from Heaven.

In the short time she had been here, the little rabbit had convinced Amy to eat her food, caught Knuckles and cleaned off the layer of egg and grape jelly that clung to his fur, and had somehow, managed to quiet Sonic.

Shadow looked around his kitchen in amazement. If he hadn't known better, he never would have guessed that the three innocent looking toddlers that sat before him were the same mini demons who had tormented him so only a few minutes before.

However, even Cream was not fully capable of dealing with those three toddlers for very long. It was not five minutes since he had calmed down that Sonic noticed Cheese, the chao friend. Still, it was five more minutes of peace than Shadow had had for two whole days.

Sonic's emerald green eyes widened with delight when he saw Cheese flying up above his head. Pointing to him, Sonic asked, "Is dat?"

"Hmm?" asked Cream, looking to where he was pointing. "Oh, that's my friend, Cheese. He's a chao."

"I have it?" Sonic asked, his face a glowing example of childlike innocence.

Before Shadow had time to warn Cream that it was a trick, and that Sonic had about as much childlike innocence as the BioLizard, Cream nodded and smiled. "I suppose Cheese wouldn't mind you holding him for awhile. He likes to be cuddled."

It was like a scene from a horror movie. Shadow knew that something awful was about to take place, but he was unable to warn anyone in order to prevent it. It seemed to happened in slow motion to Shadow, although in reality it took only a matter of seconds. Cream handed Cheese to Sonic, who smiled, hugged it tight, and promptly shoved the chao's head in his mouth.

Cream and Cheese screamed in protest at the exact same minute, and Cream quickly removed Cheese and tried to comfort her traumatized little friend.

"Wha' I do?" Sonic asked, failing to see how he had done wrong.

"You ET da cao!" Knuckles yelled at him. "Jus' wike you ET da Massa Emered, Soni!"

"Shuv up you ear, Uckles!" Sonic snapped.

Cream looked accusingly at Shadow, who raised his hands in defense.

"I did not teach him that," he informed her.

Knuckles tackled Sonic to the ground and the two started wrestling each other.

"I go cao bwast you off eart, Soni!" Knuckles snarled.

Shadow shrugged. "I believe I might have had something to do with that one, however," he admitted.

Cream sighed loudly and went to break up the two toddlers.


	9. Chapter 9

Author's Chapter Notes:

I still do not own Sonic the Hedgehog, nor do I believe I ever will.

* * *

After the boys had been calmed down and the three children had been sent to the couch to watch Spongebob reruns, Cream helped Shadow clean up the mess in his kitchen that was left over from breakfast.

Shadow didn't really mind when she decided to strike up a conversation; while Cream was far from adulthood she could at least, comprehend something of logic, and that was like a refreshing drink after a day and a half of nothing but toddler thoughts.

"They sure are cute at that age, aren't they Mr. Shadow?" Cream asked as she drew water to start the dishes.

"Humph," was Shadow's reply, looking up from the table he was clearing to check on the three toddlers, who he felt for sure would sooner or later become convicts.

Although he had to admit, when they weren't screaming, whining, hitting, running away, demanding things, or breaking his stuff, they could be kind of cute.

Like now, for instance. They were sitting perfectly still listening to Patrick Star mistake a bubble of an elephant for a giraffe. Knuckles still had a death grip on his Master Cantaloupe, and Sonic had his thumb in his mouth. Shadow had heard somewhere that you shouldn't let kids put their thumbs in their mouth, but he decided that was one rule he could ignore. With that thumb in there, Sonic couldn't blab to the world.

"You know something, Mr. Shadow? We should do something special with them today. It won't be long before Mr. Tails finds a way to change them back to normal and they'll be much too busy to do anything fun."

Shadow's eyes widened and he looked over at Cream, who was doing the dishes without a care in the world. He'd wanted to turn them back to normal, of course, but certainly that meant that everything would go back to the way it had been before, right?

Shadow went back to work, his stomach twisting in a decidedly painful manner. He didn't want things to go back to the way they had been before! Sonic had pitied him half the time and despised him the other half, Amy had been terrified of him, and Knuckles had just flat out hated his guts.

The thought that any of them feeling that way about him again was…

Shadow took a deep breath and pushed the thoughts to the back of his mind. So he'd lose them. Big deal. He lost everyone he cared about. He'd get over it.

Cream was right. He'd better find as many ways to make these next few days as wonderful as possible. It would be over far too soon.

"Where should we go, Cream?" he asked her, hoping she would have some more ideas.

Cream looked up thoughtfully. Then her face lit up and she said, "I know! Let's take them to Twinkle Park!"

Shadow remembered seeing the amusement park before. It always seemed that no matter what time he had gone past, he had seen Amy trying to drag Sonic inside, usually pointing to a large sign that read, 'Cute Couples Get in Free!' Sonic had always managed to evade her though, once even going so far as to use Shadow as a decoy. Shadow had found him and had 'convinced' him to never do it ever again.

Kids liked amusement parks, didn't they? Shadow smirked, remembering how Sonic had run off yesterday to play on the slide. Wait until he saw the size of the slide at Twinkle Park!

"Twinkle Park sounds good," Shadow agreed.

"Yes, they'll like it," Cream continued. "And we'll be able to tell everyone that Amy and Sonic went into Twinkle Park together!"

Shadow's smirk grew slightly wider. Yes, that certainly would be worth a trip to Twinkle Park.

Shadow hadn't realized how big Twinkle Park actually was, or just how many people were there. He hoped he could keep track of his three little hooligans in this place. The last thing he needed was another disappearance act like the one they pulled at the grocery store!

Cream, the Super Care Taker, had an answer for that, though. As soon as they went in, she pulled three rope-like objects out of her backpack.

"What's that?" Shadow asked her.

"Well, you put one end on the child's wrist and make sure he can't get it off, and you hold onto the other end," Cream replied, strapping Sonic to one.

"Baby leashes?" Shadow mused, raising an eyebrow. Apparently, he was not the only one to have cared for children who could be considered animals. Perhaps Sonic's original parents had thought up the idea.

When Cream finished 'hooking up' the children, she handed Sonic and Knuckle's leashes to Shadow, holding onto Amy herself.

Shadow followed Cream because she had been here before and would know what rides the little one's would enjoy. He nodded to himself with approval (and slight relief) when she led them away from the roller coasters and towards an area of the park that had smaller kiddie rides.

The children rode several merry-go-round type rides that featured motorcycles and cars. There was even one with boats that floated on actual water. Sonic didn't care to go on that one, but Knuckles and Amy went three times.

The thing that amused Shadow the most was the child's 'roller coaster,' a flat round piece of track that had two small humps on either side. Sonic was thrilled to be able to go on such a 'big kid' ride, but Amy stated it was 'too scary.'

They had lunch in an over-priced pizzeria and then headed out to ride some more rides.

As they left the pizzeria, Shadow noticed that Sonic, who had practically been pulling him forward all day, was now trying to pull against him. The ebony furred hedgehog was getting tired of having to be dragged along or dragging Sonic along, so he turned around and snapped, "Sonic, get over here!"

"Wooky, Sadoe! Wooky at dat pwetty wock!"

Shadow looked at where Sonic was pointing, and saw a sparkling purple gem under some bushes to the side. Shadow recognized it immediately.

"A chaos emerald?"

Shadow called for Cream, and the five of them (Well, six if you count Cheese) walked over to the emerald, which Sonic snatched up and hugged.

"I keep it!" Sonic said matter-of-factly.

"We'd better get the emerald to Mr. Tails quickly," Cream said seriously.

Shadow cocked his head to the side. "Why?" he asked.

"Because I remember Mr. Tails said that Dr. Eggman was looking for them to power his new doomsday weapon," Cream explained. "And that Mr. Tails wasn't sure how to stop him if he couldn't find a formula to change Sonic back to normal. Mr. Tails said Dr. Eggman already had five."

"But if he has five emeralds and they all show the location of other emeralds, and I have one and the other one is here, then that means—"

Shadow was cut off when part of the outer wall of the amusement part blew apart. Shadow instinctively grabbed the three children and covered them to protect them from any shrapnel that might be flying around.

Amy grabbed his fur and whimpered. "What's happen, Mr. Addow?"

"Sonic, Amy, Knuckles, you three hide here with Cream," Shadow ordered them, pushing them all into the bushes. He looked over to the horizon, where Eggman was piloting a giant, egg-shaped robot, firing missiles around Twinkle Park and laughing manically.

"Chaos Spear!" Shadow yelled, throwing the said object into the robot, who was so powerful because of the Chaos Emeralds Eggman already had, that they didn't do so much as scratch the paint.

"Ah, Shadow, it's so nice to see you," Eggman said malevolently. "To bad you can't stick around."

Shadow's eyes widened as more missiles came toward him. Just great.

Why couldn't he have a normal day at the park?


	10. Chapter 10

Author's Chapter Notes:

I still do not own Sonic the Hedgehog characters.

* * *

Shadow pulled out his emerald at the last possible moment and Chaos Controlled out of the way. The water boats Sonic dreaded so much were not so lucky, but no one was on it at the moment, so it wasn't really much of a loss in the grand scheme of things.

Shadow reappeared right next to Eggman's robot and he spin dashed it. He bounced off of it like he had hit rubber, without so much as denting it.

"Ha! You can't stop me! Not with my greatest creation, the Egg Doom!"

Shadow shook his head to make the little birdies go away and looked up at Eggman, confused. "Hasn't there already been an Egg Doom?" he asked.

"No, that was Doom Egg," Eggman explained. "Easily confused, but when it comes to performance…" Shadow rolled aside as a laser cannon blasted a hole where he'd been only moments before. "…There really is no comparison. BWAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Shadow stood up and turned around, his eyes widening as he saw yet more missiles that he was simply too close to dodge, or even to Chaos Control away from.

"Oh, snap," he managed to murmur, bracing himself just before they hit.

And they hit hard. Shadow gasped as they knocked the breath out of him, throwing him back into the wall of the now semi-demolished pizzeria he'd dined in only a few minutes before. 'Good riddance,' he thought to himself. 'The pizza was lousy anyway.'

"Mis'er Addow!"

Shadow looked up, his eyes widening in horror as he saw Amy sticking her little head out of her hiding place, right in Eggman's line of fire!

"No!" Shadow yelled, seeing the Egg Doom locking onto Amy's little head. He practically threw himself at Eggman's machine, knocking the weapons out of focus and causing them to narrowly miss frying Amy.

"Amy! Get back!" Shadow yelled, trying to hang onto Eggman's robot's arm. It started shaking back and forth harder and harder, until Shadow's grip fell and he flew off towards the pizzeria wall again. This time, he was able to Chaos Control before hitting it, however.

He reappeared in the bushes with the toddlers, Cream, and Cheese, and was immediately tackled by three hysterical toddlers.

"Mis'er Addow, who is dat mean man?" sobbed Amy.

"Attow, wha' if he bwows up da Massa Emered?" asked a wide-eyed Knuckles.

"Sadoe, why he wook wike an egg?" questioned a confused Sonic.

"Cream, get the children out of here while I keep Eggman's Egg Doom busy," Shadow ordered. The children were his first and only priority. The whole wide world could burn for all he cared, but Eggman was not going to harm so much as a hair on these young ones' heads!

In spite of the gravity of the situation Cream frowned and scratched her head. "Didn't he already use an Egg Doom?" she asked.

"No, he claims it was a Doom Egg," Shadow explained just before he chaos controlled back to battle.

Meanwhile, Tails was having a rough time of his own. He'd been furious when he'd finally perfected his formula and called Shadow, only to find that the ebony furred hedgehog was not at home! And after he'd had the nerve to get angry at Tails for not having the formula ready last night, too. Tails just could never figure out that hedgehog. He wasn't like Sonic. All Tails had to do for Sonic was hand him a chili dog and give him a good ego stroking, and Sonic was his best buddy for life.

But one thing was certain: Wherever Shadow had gone, he'd taken Sonic with him, therefore, it was logical to assume that if Tails found the one place in Central City that was currently experiencing the most chaos, he'd find his wayward hedgehogs. At least, that had always worked before, anyway.

There. Smoke was rising from Twinkle Park. Tails raced down there as fast as his helicopter tails would take him.

The battle was not going well. Shadow had tried Chaos Spear, Chaos Blast, had spin dashed every possible joint on the robot, and had even shot it in the back with a dart gun that had been lying on an abandoned game booth. Nothing he had was working, and he was running out of time!

Shadow powered up another Chaos Spear and growled as it showed as much success as the last one. There had to be some way to beat it, if he only had more energy, like…

…Like the energy from the chaos emeralds currently powering the Egg Doom?

Shadow smirked, and started looking for opportunities to steal the Doctor's chaos emeralds right out from under his big, bushy nose.

Well, Tails had found Shadow anyway. There he was, fighting one of Eggman's robots next to the partially demolished pizzeria with a Shadow-shaped imprint in one wall. But where were the kids?

"Mr. Tails, we're down here!"

Squinting down into the bushes, Tails recognized Cream the Rabbit waving at him.

"Cream!" Tails said, landing in the bushes. He saw Sonic, Amy, and Knuckles were with her, looking over to where Shadow was fighting in concern. "What's going on?"

"Eggman's trying to steal Shadow and Sonic's emeralds," Cream explained. "Shadow's trying to hold him off so we can escape, but his new Egg Doom is simply too powerful for him."

Tails scratched his head. "Didn't he already use Egg Doom? No, wait, it was Doom Egg, wasn't it?"

Cream shrugged. Cheese mimicked her from the air (And a safe distance away from Sonic.)

"Well, never mind," Tails said soothingly. "Because I brought something that might help him." Taking out a container full of bright green liquid, he called, "Sonic, Knuckles, Amy! You three come and drink this up."

Now that he had a plan that could work, Shadow was amazed at how easily the doctor decided to make it for him. Every now and then Eggman would do a super laser attack, and if Shadow could dodge it, there was a split second afterwards where he could spin dash into Eggman's open plate chest, which would start to jar loose the emeralds. Shadow was certain that if he could do it long enough, the emeralds would fall out of the robot and into his waiting arms. After watching Sonic, Amy, and Knuckles for two days, it would be a piece of cake.

Apparently, Eggman realized what he was trying to do. "Stop that!" he yelled, as Shadow finished another spin dash. The emeralds were almost completely out. One more spin dash should do it…

There! The chest was open! Shadow chaos controlled away from the laser and then spin dashed the chest plate, feeling a rush of relief as the emeralds broke loose and fell to the ground. He was so distracted, however, that he was unable to get out of the way before Eggman's robot grabbed him by the leg.

"You fool!" Eggman sneered. "Even without the emeralds, I'm more than capable of disposing you! No hedgehog can beat me!"

"Well, then, let's even the odds a little, Eggman."

Shadow looked over to the voice, his eyes widening as a glove covered hand picked up the emeralds he'd freed from the robot.

"It can't be!" Eggman gasped. "I destroyed you!"

"Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated," said Sonic, smirking at him. To either side stood Knuckles and Amy, the former dropping to a fighting position while the latter swung her Piko Piko hammer.

And they were all full grown again.

"It doesn't matter!" Eggman spluttered, throwing Shadow hard against that stupid pizzeria wall again. "I've beaten you once, I can do it again!"

"Just try it, Eggman," Sonic smirked.

Shadow winced and grabbed his red chaos emerald. "Sonic, catch!" he called throwing it.

Sonic caught the emerald in thin air, and it reacted to the other six already in the blue furred hedgehog's possession. They flew around him and a bright light lit up the area. When it dissipated, Sonic's fur was golden, and his grin was even bigger.

"Alright, Eggman," Super Sonic laughed. "Let's dance!"


	11. Chapter 11

Author's Chapter Notes:

I will never own Sonic the Hedgehog characters, no matter how many times you might read my stories.

* * *

"Even with the Chaos emeralds, you still won't be able to beat my Egg Doom!" Eggman yelled, firing more missals which impacted one Super Sonic's body.

When the explosion dissipated Eggman gasped when he saw that Super Sonic hadn't even moved an inch. His fur wasn't even singed.

"Egg Doom? Getting a little repetitive, aren't you, Eggman?" Super Sonic asked, wagging his finger at Eggman disappointedly. "You've already used that."

"No I haven't!" Eggman yelled, his face turning an interesting shade of mauve. "It was Doom Egg! Doom Egg! Doom Egg!"

"Sounds like your record's stuck," Super Sonic laughed, spin dashing the Egg Doom. The machine started to spark, but it continued to run.

"No! This isn't possible! My machine is indestructible!" Eggman yelled.

Super Sonic shrugged carelessly. "I guess they just don't make indestructible robots like they used to," he said.

"Grr…I'll show you! Metal Sonic! Shadow Android! Robo Knuckles! Get that hedgehog!"

The three aforementioned robots landed in the ruins of the pizzeria, their weapons powered up and aimed at Super Sonic.

"Sonic, stop Eggman," Shadow yelled at the golden hedgehog, taking up a fighting position. "We'll take care of these robots."

"We sure will!" Amy agreed, grabbing her Piko Piko hammer and swinging it in anticipation.

Knuckles rolled his eyes and looked at Shadow suspiciously. "Don't get in my way," he warned, running off to take care of his robotic doppelganger.

Shadow narrowed his eyes at the echidna before turning to Amy and saying, "Take care of Metal Sonic. I'll take out Shadow Android."

"What?" Amy asked, her eyes widening. "I can't take Metal Sonic! He's just so much like my Sonniku, I couldn't bear it!"

Shadow frowned, then he smirked. After these two days, he probably knew more about Amy Rose than she knew about herself.

"Do you know what he told me about you, Amy?" he asked.

"Sonniku talked about me?" Amy asked, clasping her hands together with excitement. "What did he say?"

Shadow leaned forward and whispered something in her ear.

Amy's eyes widened and her jaw dropped. "He didn't…"

Shadow nodded.

One could practially see the fire in Amy's eyes. "Of all the no-good, rotten, lousy, good-for-nothing…"

Almost too fast for the human eye to see, Amy was on top of Metal Sonic, beating his robotic body in with her Piko Piko hammer.

"DIE YOU NO ACCOUNT BRAIN DEAD BONEHEADED MORON!" Amy screamed. She continued to beat Metal Sonic long after he had gone off-line.

Shadow smirked again and went to fight his own robot. Shadow Android saw him coming and raised his arms. They morphed into two AK-47's, and the robot took aim at him.

As the guns started to fire, Shadow speed up and managed to keep one step ahead of them, racing to the demolished pizzeria, grabbing a brick, and throwing it with deadly accuracy, hitting Shadow Android right on the head. While not very damaging, it took the robot by surprise, causing him to stop shooting his weapons for a fraction of a second.

It was more than enough time to do what Shadow needed. In the time it takes to blink, Shadow had raced up to the robot, slid into him and tripped him up, and—while the machine was still falling—grabbed an AK-47 and literally blew its head off.

Smirking, Shadow threw the gun aside. "That's why you don't mess with the Ultimate Lifeform," he stated simply.

Making sure the android was really down for the count, Shadow looked around to see how the others were doing. Amy was still pounding Metal Sonic, even though it was obvious that the robot wouldn't be getting up any time soon. Super Sonic was holding out very well. Although Shadow noticed that if Super Sonic had spent less time running his mouth and more time actually fighting Eggman's robot, he'd have beaten it by now.

Knuckles, however, seemed to be having a few problems keeping up with his metallic image. Robo Knuckles was faster and, amazingly, stronger than the red echidna.

However, Shadow knew just how to tip the balance in Knuckles' favor.

"Knuckles!" Shadow yelled as loud as he could. "He's trying to steal the Master Emerald!"

A fire started to burn in Knuckles' eyes that were surprisingly similar to the one currently burning in Amy's. Knuckles started to hit Robo Knuckles in a way that reminded Shadow of the echidna's temper tantrum in that blasted grocery store. Only now, Knuckles was big enough to hit something besides Shadow's leg.

Now, he was big enough to punch Robo Knuckles' face.

Nodding to himself for a job well done, Shadow turned his attention to Super Sonic and the Egg Doom.

Super Sonic was hovering above the ground, easily floating around all the Egg Doom's weapons or—if he decided to make Eggman really angry—allowing them to hit him and show that they left no damage.

"Come on Eggman," Super Sonic taunted, coming close and punching the doomsday machine again. "Is this the best you can do?"

"I'll make you eat those words, hedgehog!" Eggman vowed, firing more weapons.

Super Sonic dodged and spin dashed the Egg Doom, causing it to smoke heavily. A small fire started near the chest plate, contributing to the smoke.

Super Sonic rubbed his belly and licked his lips. "Mm, they taste like chicken!"

Shadow closed his eyes and moaned. "Where did I go wrong?" he asked, but his lips were turned upward as he said it.

Behind him, Knuckles ripped apart Robo Knuckles and threw the two halves of the machine aside, breathing heavily as he fought to regain control of his temper. Amy continued to pound Metal Sonic, even though one could no longer tell that it had been a machine, much less what kind of machine it had been.

Up above, Super Sonic flew through the Egg Doom, demolishing the machine which fell towards the ground. Eggman jettisoned into that stupid plastic bubble thing he has.

"This isn't over hedgehog!" he said, flying away.

"Ready when you are, Eggman," Super Sonic replied, as the emeralds started to wear off. His fur returned to its original cobalt blue and the emeralds themselves flew off in all directions.

Sonic the Hedgehog looked over to Shadow, Amy and Knuckles. Then he glanced over to where Cream, Cheese, and Tails were exiting the bushes. He cleared his throat and said, "Um, does anybody know how I got here? The last thing I remember is chasing Eggman and him using some corny egg-related laser on me."

Knuckles nodded, frowning. "I can't remember anything past that, either," he admitted.

Amy realized the real Sonic was next to her and stopped hitting the robotic version in favor of the honest to goodness real thing. "SONIC! HOW DARE YOU SHOW YOUR FACE AROUND HERE!"

Sonic honestly had no idea what was going on. "What'd I do, Amy?" he asked, trying to ward off Amy's coming attack.

"What did you do!? How dare you pretend you don't know what you did, you…you…creep face!"

Realizing that something had to be done if Sonic wished to live to see the sunset that night, Shadow cleared his throat and said, "Amy, do you realize where you are?"

"Huh?" Amy paused in mid-swing, her Piko Piko hammer mere inches away from a terrified Sonic's head.

"You are in Twinkle Park. With Sonic the Hedgehog," Shadow informed her.

Amy's eyes widened and she looked around. She dropped her hammer and squealed with delight. "I am! I'm in Twinkle Park with my Sonniku! Oh, Sonic, I knew you loved me! We are such a cute couple!"

Sonic seemed more horrified at that thought than he had been when he thought Amy was going to smash his head in. "Amy, look! Over there! It's Tom Cruise!"

Giving another shriek that only an obsessed fan girl can make, Amy swirled around and asked, "Where? Where is he? I can't see him!"

As soon as she turned around, Sonic shot off like a bolt of lightning. Amy instantly realized what had happened.

"Sonikku! No fair! Come back here, Sonic!" She cried, chasing him off.

Tails grinned, watching the two race through Twinkle Park. "I can't tell you how happy I am to see them doing that again," he said.

"Humph," agreed Shadow.


	12. Chapter 12

Author's Chapter Notes:

I still do not own anything related to Sonic the Hedgehog.

* * *

It had been six weeks since the incident with Eggman at Twinkle Park. Shade the Echidna knew that it was past time she dealt with Knuckles' new…obsession, before it got even more out of hand.

Shade sighed and walked up the steps leading to the chamber where Knuckles guarded the Master Emerald. When she arrived, she saw the cherished emerald in the middle of the room. Knuckles sat right in front of it, to guard it from any intruders.

The rest of the area was completely covered in cantaloupes.

Knuckles had one in his hand, using his clawed gloves to peel into it so he could eat the fruity part.

"Knuckles," Shade said, trying to break the news to him gently. "I don't think your new obsession with cantaloupes is very healthy, not to you and certainly not to your duties as the Master Emerald's guardian."

Knuckles looked up at her and sighed. "You're probably right, Shade," he admitted, taking a bite out of his cantaloupe. "I can't understand it. The past six weeks, all I've been able to think about is eating cantaloupe." He finished eating his cantaloupe and grabbed another one, starting to pry it open. "And you know what the strange thing is?" he continued, taking a big bite. "I don't even like cantaloupes!"

Sonic and Tails were having a day off in Green Hill Zone. Sonic was on his back, watching the clouds, and Tails was discussing several of his many reasons why he didn't want to move out of the Mystic Ruins.

"See, it's the only place where nobody complains about the noise when I work on my inventions," the kitsune was saying. "And the special energy field the Ruins give off takes care of all the energy needs I have. Without it, most of my inventions would use more electricity than the whole nation combined is capable of obtaining. And besides," Tails finished his argument by dabbling into childish logic. "If I move, Santa might not know where I am!"

Sonic started to laugh. "Aw, don't tell me you still believe in Santa Claus, lil' bro. Everybody knows he's a fake."

"What?" Tails asked, his eyes widening. "Then how do you explain presents on Christmas Morning?"

"Super Heroes bring them, of course," Sonic said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Tails gave Sonic a bewildered look, then shrugged. Sonic the Hedgehog was certainly a strange individual.

Amy Rose was helping Omochao with his Chao Kindergarten class again. Today, to Dark Chao had taken an unaligned Chao's crayons and were teasing him with it. When Amy tried to interfere, the Dark Chao started to scream.

"Stop it right now or I'll knock you all right off the face of the earth with my Piko Piko hammer!" Amy yelled. "It's not like anybody would miss you little brats anyway!"

Then she realized what she said and gasped, covering her mouth with her hands.

To embarrass her even more, Omochao had heard her and decided to confront her about it. "Miss Rose! I hardly think such a manner is conductive to raising good little chao."

"I know, I'm sorry," Amy sobbed, her whole face bright red. "It—it just slipped out, I didn't…I wasn't…I'm so sorry!"

"Oh, Shadow, it couldn't have been that bad," Rouge teased as she finished helping Shadow put the last bits of his house back in order.

"It was worse," Shadow replied. "They were monsters. I'm still fixing my apartment. I wouldn't go through that again for anything."

"Well, you probably won't have to," Rouge said. "And yes, I destroyed those photos."

"You better have," Shadow warned. "Frankly, it would have been better for me if you had showed them to everybody. I couldn't wait to get rid of those little brats."

As Shadow stomped off, something hidden at the far side of his kitchen counter caught Rogue's eyes. Curious, she took a closer look, and noticed three small items. One was a purple Chaos Emerald, the one Baby Sonic had been so taken with at Twinkle Park. Next to that, there was a neatly folded bandage that smelled like a cantaloupe. Beside it was a small book. Rouge opened it and saw several violets neatly pressed between the pages.

Rouge smiled and looked to where Shadow had stomped off. "Somehow Shadow," she whispered, "I find that hard to believe."

* * *

There we go. Next: Babysitting Blues!


End file.
